Thank you, Sarah! I love the theme of your newsletter, too. My husband’s trip to India is to care for his 69 and 75 year old parents and while my mom isn’t quite 65 yet, this trip has reminded us both what a difficult season we’re likely entering for the foreseeable future. I appreciated your take reminding us it’s a privilege, too.
Hi Mariah, a big hug. I hear you. I feel and have felt all this too, as another kind of caregiver. Often, especially with grief (the ultimate discombobulator) no matter how much I tried to reframe, manage, and redefine whatever I was feeling...because I was trying to do that, it got worse, or erupted.
I love how you pirouette to seeing this all as being human. I wholeheartedly agree. These days I try to gently hold the pain and frustration and count breaths. My overactive brain needs the space to calm or to recognise that 'being human' is ok. Judging ourselves is the auto-bully.
So, I just wanted to share that sometimes we can give ourselves a hug, instead of trying to be tough, grit, fight...we can even hug and pirouette with the neatest flexibility, agility. as Brené Brown says Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart (Braving the Wilderness). You're doing amazing Human-ing!!
P.S a caregivers trick is to invest in a good thermos mug so your coffee/tea doesn't get cold. Otherwise we make at least 10 cups and never get to drink any before its cold!
Thank you for all of these loving reminders! I do need to get a good thermos, haha! Or one of those hot plate mug warmers? Thanks for bringing Brené into the mix, too. Softness is something I’m coming into with age, physically and emotionally and all the rest. Grateful to be in such amazing company as we uplift the work of caregiving and remind each other juman is enough. 💗
May I make a little addition on top? Let's give ourselves the grace to say we have no idea, and there is no single definition of 'being human or being enough' ...Being human in the most Expansive sense...it encompasses pain, suffering, mess, unexpectedness, joy surprise, soft and steel...we're all journeying and learning as we gain more life experience over time
I like the way you explore all these themes, my 'small addition' is that things are not one or the other...more or less, I like to think of the 'bothness or all-ness of it all' of being human..Self-less and self-full, this way we can be fully multi-hyphenated and still be ok ;-) From a Carer-business owner-mentor-princess-friend-learner etc etc
Like Sarah, I just loved the subtitle! I find that pivoting has become more and more important over the years... I remember that in 2020, it felt impossible for me to plan more than a few days ahead. So, I really loved this question: "What if the inconveniences were opportunities? To soften. To ask for as much help as I really need and someday learn to do it with less shame?"
I find the inconveniences also help with flexibility. Becoming less attached to the plan, and being more open to what actually happens. I just love the 4 rules of planning by Leonard Snart (a fictional supervillain from the Arrowverse): "make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan." It just feels so true sometimes!
Haha, it's been one of those days when I'm definitely "expecting the unexpected" and this really made me laugh. I think this is an excellent attitude to adopt. Throw the plan away! Our little brains are just searching for certainty and control and that's okay...but maybe we can redirect them and send them on a scavenger hunt for beauty, instead? 🦋
"how to pivot without falling and call it a pirouette" -- this is beautiful. Yes. More power to you, Mariah!
Thank you, Sarah! I love the theme of your newsletter, too. My husband’s trip to India is to care for his 69 and 75 year old parents and while my mom isn’t quite 65 yet, this trip has reminded us both what a difficult season we’re likely entering for the foreseeable future. I appreciated your take reminding us it’s a privilege, too.
Hi Mariah, a big hug. I hear you. I feel and have felt all this too, as another kind of caregiver. Often, especially with grief (the ultimate discombobulator) no matter how much I tried to reframe, manage, and redefine whatever I was feeling...because I was trying to do that, it got worse, or erupted.
I love how you pirouette to seeing this all as being human. I wholeheartedly agree. These days I try to gently hold the pain and frustration and count breaths. My overactive brain needs the space to calm or to recognise that 'being human' is ok. Judging ourselves is the auto-bully.
So, I just wanted to share that sometimes we can give ourselves a hug, instead of trying to be tough, grit, fight...we can even hug and pirouette with the neatest flexibility, agility. as Brené Brown says Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart (Braving the Wilderness). You're doing amazing Human-ing!!
P.S a caregivers trick is to invest in a good thermos mug so your coffee/tea doesn't get cold. Otherwise we make at least 10 cups and never get to drink any before its cold!
Thank you for all of these loving reminders! I do need to get a good thermos, haha! Or one of those hot plate mug warmers? Thanks for bringing Brené into the mix, too. Softness is something I’m coming into with age, physically and emotionally and all the rest. Grateful to be in such amazing company as we uplift the work of caregiving and remind each other juman is enough. 💗
Here alongside you, hon! Yes, thermos mug is a game changer ;-) I cut myself off from coffee around 11am. The hot plate things don't work well for me - time and mess. This is what I have https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07MJR3P1H/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
May I make a little addition on top? Let's give ourselves the grace to say we have no idea, and there is no single definition of 'being human or being enough' ...Being human in the most Expansive sense...it encompasses pain, suffering, mess, unexpectedness, joy surprise, soft and steel...we're all journeying and learning as we gain more life experience over time
I like the way you explore all these themes, my 'small addition' is that things are not one or the other...more or less, I like to think of the 'bothness or all-ness of it all' of being human..Self-less and self-full, this way we can be fully multi-hyphenated and still be ok ;-) From a Carer-business owner-mentor-princess-friend-learner etc etc
Like Sarah, I just loved the subtitle! I find that pivoting has become more and more important over the years... I remember that in 2020, it felt impossible for me to plan more than a few days ahead. So, I really loved this question: "What if the inconveniences were opportunities? To soften. To ask for as much help as I really need and someday learn to do it with less shame?"
I find the inconveniences also help with flexibility. Becoming less attached to the plan, and being more open to what actually happens. I just love the 4 rules of planning by Leonard Snart (a fictional supervillain from the Arrowverse): "make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan." It just feels so true sometimes!
Haha, it's been one of those days when I'm definitely "expecting the unexpected" and this really made me laugh. I think this is an excellent attitude to adopt. Throw the plan away! Our little brains are just searching for certainty and control and that's okay...but maybe we can redirect them and send them on a scavenger hunt for beauty, instead? 🦋
Mariah, I love the idea of sending our brains on a scavenger hunt for beauty!