I relate to this SO much! Every time a big bill comes up, or a big purchase, I think to myself, “damn, I need to get a job.” But that’s not what I want at all. For the first time in my life, I finally feel free and have the immense joy of being able to tap into my creativity and experiment with passions and hobbies. I’m walking in a dream. I never thought I would be so lucky to get to do this. And of course above all, I’m so happy to be there for my kids and watch them grow every second. I’m also exhausted and stressed and overwhelmed by the constant needs and pure chaos of my toddlers. It’s a trip. I also just weaned my almost two year old and that’s been interesting lol.
I stayed at home when my boys were small but constantly felt tempted by jobs. I don't think it helps that society at large dismisses the importance of raising our children...
Good golly, let me know where I can find a job opportunity like that! Haha. Remote + travel + $80k per year...sounds like the full package ;)
Thank you for sharing your fears, and I'm sure you're making the right decisions. You haven't gone wrong thus far! Keen to see how this rearranging of your life and priorities unfolds x
Mariah I can’t tell you how emotional this made me when I read it. I’m in the exact same boat (not as a parent) but having been an entrepreneur for 3 years and stepping away from what I was doing before to follow my heart more so as a writer. I keep wondering ‘should’ I get a job so I feel like how I ‘should’ feel or, do I take this time, this gift that life has offered me to be still, and follow my dream.
Something I listened to Alan Watts say this morning was “everything and something can only ever come from nothing” (another great synchronicity with us!), just as writers, to write our next page, we must start with a blank page, knowing we have all the pages before as our foundation, as a reference point to turn back to.
This is your time and I can’t wait to see what giving yourself the permission and space for that small voice creates for you. Thank you also for being a mirror and validation for that voice in me. 💙
I appreciate your beautiful words in your beautiful pictures and I can relate in some ways of what you’re going through although I am not a stay at home mom as my son is in the Navy and is 25 years old. I am a very lucky mommy. I left a hospital after 21 years as they’ve tried to force me to get the booster vaccine and I declined I’ve had brain surgery in the past and did not want to have this in my body. I work for this hospital for 21 years, so it was definitely hard to make the decision. I can say now having been two years now I made the right one as I walk in the forest three days a week and look at the trees in the birds, and really am taking in nature as I never saw it look like this before so beautiful every little leaf on the ground I’m so thankful and grateful to be alive more so than what I worked in the hospital I was not thriving as a human there. I need money and have a supportive husband and I am thinking of possibly going back to work in a different field. I’m just scared as I am in my 50s and it’s not as easy out there so again I appreciate you opening up on going back to work
This all resonates so deeply! My first is 8 months old, my husband lost his job a few months ago, and we have had some big conversations around how comfortable we are with the heaviness of financial difficulty (how long are we willing to prioritize our passions and interests over taking whatever $ we can get?). I never expected to be a stay at home mom (truly, never), but as soon as my son was born it felt like my calling. For now, at least. I have had moments of seeing job postings that catch my eye, but then always end up noticing that I don't feel very enthusiastic, because it's not what I really want right now.
I loved this piece and I saw myself in what you wrote! I wish I had the answer... for you, for me and for many others moms out there, swimming in the same dilemma! Good luck, to all of us!
A fantastic post Mariah and I relate to so much of what you say. Especially the bit about is it even work if I'm not getting paid and it feeling like a frivolous hobby. That's the bit that is tricky. I worked part time for 5 years when my eldest two were little (they are 9 and 6 now) and in all honesty when I look back I think why did I do that, all my salary went on childcare and the stress of juggling work and the kids felt like a lot, even though my job wasn't stressful. I gave up my job in the pandemic because I found it hard going back after having a long period of bereavement leave after my Dad passed away. I retrained as a Coach and have been doing that ever since. Since having my 3rd child (he'll be 2 in may) I realised that childcare costs with 3 kids would mean I'd be paying to go to work so I'm a stay at home mum and doing my coaching biz around the kids. Honestly, I'm much happier being a stay at home mum. I'm lucky my husband can support us but obviously it means that money can be tight, we don't go on holiday or spend lots. I plan on going back to work part time once my youngest is in full time school, we'll see. I soothe my nervous system by making sure I take regular time to do things I love like reading, journalling and crochet. X
I burnt out raising four children, two step children and trying to work. Although I was able to 'give up work' I still supported my husband working from home as an osteopath. After I stopped my nursing career I lost my financial independence. That's now hitting me as he gets older and is starting to slow down and I have no income of my own. I retrained in NLP and became a Life Coach but it was only ever part time as there were always too many other pulls on me. I was astonished when talking to my NLP teacher about my work (bringing up the children and doing all the domestics). he said he didn't think of that as work!
I soothe my nervous system by long walks most mornings and solitude. Time on my own allows me to recharge. I have recently booked some massages. 😊
But even now, knowing I have made myself quite vulnerable financially, I still wish I had not worked and instead focused on the children. With all my heart I wish I had known then what I now know. That children need that attachment to their parents and that being well regulated parents we pass that on to our children. This is how it should be. I am not against mums working but sadly, our systems are set up to keep the economy rolling and not to support healthy, happy humans.
Wishing you success in finding the solutions that work for you and your family Mariah. 💜
I relate to this SO much! Every time a big bill comes up, or a big purchase, I think to myself, “damn, I need to get a job.” But that’s not what I want at all. For the first time in my life, I finally feel free and have the immense joy of being able to tap into my creativity and experiment with passions and hobbies. I’m walking in a dream. I never thought I would be so lucky to get to do this. And of course above all, I’m so happy to be there for my kids and watch them grow every second. I’m also exhausted and stressed and overwhelmed by the constant needs and pure chaos of my toddlers. It’s a trip. I also just weaned my almost two year old and that’s been interesting lol.
I stayed at home when my boys were small but constantly felt tempted by jobs. I don't think it helps that society at large dismisses the importance of raising our children...
Good golly, let me know where I can find a job opportunity like that! Haha. Remote + travel + $80k per year...sounds like the full package ;)
Thank you for sharing your fears, and I'm sure you're making the right decisions. You haven't gone wrong thus far! Keen to see how this rearranging of your life and priorities unfolds x
Mariah I can’t tell you how emotional this made me when I read it. I’m in the exact same boat (not as a parent) but having been an entrepreneur for 3 years and stepping away from what I was doing before to follow my heart more so as a writer. I keep wondering ‘should’ I get a job so I feel like how I ‘should’ feel or, do I take this time, this gift that life has offered me to be still, and follow my dream.
Something I listened to Alan Watts say this morning was “everything and something can only ever come from nothing” (another great synchronicity with us!), just as writers, to write our next page, we must start with a blank page, knowing we have all the pages before as our foundation, as a reference point to turn back to.
This is your time and I can’t wait to see what giving yourself the permission and space for that small voice creates for you. Thank you also for being a mirror and validation for that voice in me. 💙
I appreciate your beautiful words in your beautiful pictures and I can relate in some ways of what you’re going through although I am not a stay at home mom as my son is in the Navy and is 25 years old. I am a very lucky mommy. I left a hospital after 21 years as they’ve tried to force me to get the booster vaccine and I declined I’ve had brain surgery in the past and did not want to have this in my body. I work for this hospital for 21 years, so it was definitely hard to make the decision. I can say now having been two years now I made the right one as I walk in the forest three days a week and look at the trees in the birds, and really am taking in nature as I never saw it look like this before so beautiful every little leaf on the ground I’m so thankful and grateful to be alive more so than what I worked in the hospital I was not thriving as a human there. I need money and have a supportive husband and I am thinking of possibly going back to work in a different field. I’m just scared as I am in my 50s and it’s not as easy out there so again I appreciate you opening up on going back to work
This all resonates so deeply! My first is 8 months old, my husband lost his job a few months ago, and we have had some big conversations around how comfortable we are with the heaviness of financial difficulty (how long are we willing to prioritize our passions and interests over taking whatever $ we can get?). I never expected to be a stay at home mom (truly, never), but as soon as my son was born it felt like my calling. For now, at least. I have had moments of seeing job postings that catch my eye, but then always end up noticing that I don't feel very enthusiastic, because it's not what I really want right now.
My peace comes from taking it one day, one season at a time. I just shared a few of my reflections on this journey a few days ago: https://miriamcruz.substack.com/p/my-motherhood-identity-crisis
I loved this piece and I saw myself in what you wrote! I wish I had the answer... for you, for me and for many others moms out there, swimming in the same dilemma! Good luck, to all of us!
A fantastic post Mariah and I relate to so much of what you say. Especially the bit about is it even work if I'm not getting paid and it feeling like a frivolous hobby. That's the bit that is tricky. I worked part time for 5 years when my eldest two were little (they are 9 and 6 now) and in all honesty when I look back I think why did I do that, all my salary went on childcare and the stress of juggling work and the kids felt like a lot, even though my job wasn't stressful. I gave up my job in the pandemic because I found it hard going back after having a long period of bereavement leave after my Dad passed away. I retrained as a Coach and have been doing that ever since. Since having my 3rd child (he'll be 2 in may) I realised that childcare costs with 3 kids would mean I'd be paying to go to work so I'm a stay at home mum and doing my coaching biz around the kids. Honestly, I'm much happier being a stay at home mum. I'm lucky my husband can support us but obviously it means that money can be tight, we don't go on holiday or spend lots. I plan on going back to work part time once my youngest is in full time school, we'll see. I soothe my nervous system by making sure I take regular time to do things I love like reading, journalling and crochet. X
I burnt out raising four children, two step children and trying to work. Although I was able to 'give up work' I still supported my husband working from home as an osteopath. After I stopped my nursing career I lost my financial independence. That's now hitting me as he gets older and is starting to slow down and I have no income of my own. I retrained in NLP and became a Life Coach but it was only ever part time as there were always too many other pulls on me. I was astonished when talking to my NLP teacher about my work (bringing up the children and doing all the domestics). he said he didn't think of that as work!
I soothe my nervous system by long walks most mornings and solitude. Time on my own allows me to recharge. I have recently booked some massages. 😊
But even now, knowing I have made myself quite vulnerable financially, I still wish I had not worked and instead focused on the children. With all my heart I wish I had known then what I now know. That children need that attachment to their parents and that being well regulated parents we pass that on to our children. This is how it should be. I am not against mums working but sadly, our systems are set up to keep the economy rolling and not to support healthy, happy humans.
Wishing you success in finding the solutions that work for you and your family Mariah. 💜