Words of advice to myself for 2023

Here we are. At the threshold. A ceremony for wedding hope and uncertainty.

So. It begins. A new calendar year. I am so grateful to be sharing it with you. 

This date can bring with it both relief (ah, the past year is finally over) likened to a slamming door you’re very much ready to close, and a sense of trepidation.

Here we are. At the threshold. A ceremony for wedding hope and uncertainty. 

I’m captivated lately by doorways and all they represent.

Rather than make any resolutions (which seems sort of silly in these times we are living), I was inspired by Alok Vaid-Menon to write some words of advice for the next year. (Please check out their beautifully written intentions, posted on Instagram @alokvmenon). Wisdom from my past to my future self. Kind reminders from a friend. Guideposts to help me navigate the unknown from a place of integrity.

Lessons I’m still learning. 

1. Sing. When you’re tired. When you feel triumphant. When you want to complain. Choose the words carefully, like a spell. Cast your voice like rainwater over a lake. Soft, gentle, pitter-patter. Or strong and violent, tumultuous as a summer storm. 

2. Ask yourself what it might be like to be bathed in grace. Invite your imagination to bathe others in grace, too.

   

   Myvatan Lake, Iceland 2018

3. Practice making choices that oppose what others want. Practice standing your ground, unarmored. 

4. Make anxiety your friend. Offer it a cup of tea and room to vent. Listen without judgment. Soften your posture. When it’s time to let it go, don’t barricade the door against future visits. It will likely return.

5. Remind yourself- not everything hard is bad. Not everything easy is good. Trust you know the difference. What your body has learned can be unlearned. New ways of being are possible. 

6. Question notions of “right” and “wrong.” Especially when placing yourself or others in these categories. Pick up a paintbrush. Choose a different color. See how the landscape changes, the prison bars shift. 

7. Get curious when using the word, “should.” Obligation is a primitive tool to create with. Might there be other tools you can try? 

8. Make peace with your wants. Spend less time interrogating desires and more time giving yourself permission to indulge your own pursuit of pleasure. 

   

   Pursuing my version of pleasure- road tripping solo around Iceland!

9. Take naps. With the baby. With the dog. With your lover in the rain. In the sunshine, under the shade of a tree. On vacation, on the couch. Ten minutes or two hours. Don’t set an alarm. 

10. Create rituals of rest. Psychic and spiritual rest. Physical rest. Mental rest. Make it purposeful, prophylactic. One day a week without an agenda. Rest with the seasons, and follow nature’s cues. Craft moments of lingering and loitering. 

    

    Your turn.

    Do you have words of advice for yourself as we begin again? Which one of the above resonated with you most? Share your words of wisdom below in the comments!