What's the difference between a dream and a fantasy?
How changing our relationship to our dreams and fantasies can help us make them a reality.
Dear Ones, I am honoring my need for deeper rest by taking off the month of July. Each week, I’ll send you an archived, free letter and link to a paywalled letter that I hope will resonate with your heart.
This week’s paywalled letter is a special one. Two summers ago, I took a self-created writer’s retreat in Arkansas to finish editing my book, The Pattern Shop. It was a vulnerable and challenging ten days that I documented with daily video diaries. I share the video from day one below and all the stories and fears that were coming up before I began. If you’re curious about that process or have the desire to make room for your own artist/creative retreat, check it out. 👇
(I also share a sneak peek at the prologue of my book!!)
In gratitude for your presence here, I’m offering a one-month free trial through July 31st that allows you access to all paywalled content (click the link below to redeem). I hope it nourishes your heart and soul.
https://thebarefootbeat.substack.com/nourish
This week’s free archived letter is below. It’s something I’ve struggled to understand- the difference between our dreams and fantasies. It was extremely helpful for me to write and I hope will offer you clarity, too. (Bonus beautiful artwork by Anthony Clarkson featured).
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Mariah
I come from a family of dreamers and creative, visionary folk. Growing up, I listened to my family’s endless ideas for new businesses or projects to begin. As a young girl, I used to get so excited about all of the potential and then disappointed when it wasn’t realized.
Soon, hearing a new idea didn’t bring enthusiasm, it made me feel cynical. I developed a skeptical relationship to dreaming and even rejected the parts of me that carried this entrepreneurial spirit. I chose a practical, secure career path, determined not to fall into the same trap of believing in fantasies or illusions.Â
Now, as an adult, I’m working to heal the part of me that fears getting lost in the world of fantasy. I’m playing with the difference between holding a dream and vision for my life versus believing in an illusion to keep me safe.
So, what’s the difference between a dream and a fantasy?
For me, it has everything to do with action. Fantasies are stories our mind creates out of our desire for something. Perhaps it’s an unmet need, a latent talent or skill trying to speak to us, a version of ourselves we hope to become but we aren’t ready to put in the work or face failure.
Fear can fuel our fantasies and keep them perpetually out of reach, our nervous system’s way of protecting us. What if we work towards what we want and we can’t achieve it? What if we’re not good enough? These subconscious worries can keep us in a state of procrastination, avoidance, and paralysis.
Dreams, on the other hand, are visions or intentions we set and actively engage with. Our dreams ask us to put stakes in the ground. Like a potter working with clay, we mold them by getting our hands messy, taking risks, and continually being in conversation with our progress.Â
Our dreams can be our greatest teachers, helping us acquire new skills and grow beyond our limitations. They require faith, not in some future outcome but trust in ourselves and who we are becoming. Dreams change and they should! As we collect more data through our experiences, we may add or remove certain ingredients, honing our heart’s truest desires.
Slowly but surely, I’m re-wiring old nervous system patterns, creating a new, more flexible relationship to my dreams. Now, I believe the courage it takes to pursue our dreams is the only proof we need that they’re real, even if they arrive in a different shape or form than expected.Â
Did you know?Â
Saturn is moving into Pieces this month for a two-and-a-half-year transit, a perfect time to put structure around our dreams to make them a tangible reality!
What’s your biggest dream or fantasy? Can you paint it, write it, sing it, dance it?
What fear do you need to release in order to follow your dreams?
What is one small, consistent practice you can begin to move closer to making them a reality?
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Join our weekly chat thread and introduce yourself.
Participate in a monthly art share for artists of all backgrounds and skill.
Download the free Creative Contemplation journal, a monthly new moon journal with affirmations and creative prompts.
Interested in a collaboration? Check out my About Me page and reach out! I’d love to hear your ideas.
I loved reading this! Thank you for sharing your own experience of firstly rejecting your dreams, to coming back in touch with them. I'd love to know how that experience was for you? Do you think you (as in everyone in general) can come to a space where you fully trust your dreams, or is it more of a practice?
It's interesting, a while ago I was writing in my journal about the notion of fantasy/illusion after watching A Moral Man. I've always been someone with a vivid imagination, and was often told to come back to the real world. Illusion and fantasy, to me, are another word for 'magic', and if we look at our own illusions/fantasies through this perspective, we see how they serve us to keep our dreams alive. Like watching a magic show, they bring us joy, mystery, laughter, awe and inspire us to see things in a different way. They remind the body the feeling of our dreams, that help us to follow the little voice that once seemed impossible. At the same time, as you've shared in this article, we recognise they're not the absolute truth, yet still point at it in a way that ignites our creative spirit.
Thank you for sharing this post. 💖
I’ve lived in the fantasy space for so long, and resonate with that feeling of cynicism because I’ve tried to pursue it for so long without the results I hoped for. My dreams are finally meeting the feet of my courage to become a reality I never could have imagined even 2 years ago. So many of your words are the words I’ve used to navigate myself to this place; it feels so validating to know I’m not the only one on the journey.