August: Connect, Create, Collaborate

Our monthly resource exchange + a little vignette on the awkwardness of building community and why we need to do it anyway.

"The connection economy is the economy of prosperity, collaboration and infinite possibilities. It's the vision of an economic ecosystem, a complex network of interconnected systems built on trust, value alignment and reciprocity. -Forbes

Hello my loves,

It feels so good to be sitting back at my desk writing to you. After taking the month of July off, I’m feeling re-energized, centered, and grateful to be in communion with you. Which is what this monthly resource exchange is all about!

While being in communion has incredible benefits (did you know that having a robust network of social connections can increase your odds of long-term survival by 50%?!)¹, I want to talk a little bit today about HOW we get there.

Art by Ruby Silvious

(If you’d like to jump straight into our resource exchange, scroll to the bottom of this letter!)

I hail from the Midwest, and as the eldest of three daughters, I was taught from a very young age that self-sufficiency was a virtue. Sure, you could ask for help, but only if you demonstrated the appropriate level of shame, profusely apologizing for the imposition. And you better not need help again anytime soon, either.

A chronic over-giver and awkward receiver, it’s incredibly challenging for me to create opportunities where I’m able to receive with grace instead of guilt. BUT THIS IS THE WORK.

I turned 38 this year and a big task I’m undertaking is letting go of allll the guilt!

Folks, the road to building thriving, resilient, protective communities is a bumpy one. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine, giggles and glitter. It’s weird, uncomfortable, and sometimes confrontational (but in the best way, if we allow it).

Yesterday, I accidentally ambushed our new neighbors with a plate of homemade chocolate cookies and felt pretty embarrassed about the exchange. I’d planned to walk over (with shoes on!) and ring their doorbell after dinner with a little note and introduce ourselves.

What happened instead was just after taking the cookies out of the oven, I noticed my husband chatting with the Dad over our fence. Not wanting to miss the opportunity, I rushed out of the house barefoot and practically shoved the cookies in his hands while our dog simultaneously almost knocked him over, begging for pets.

Not exactly the gracious, composed first impression I wanted to make!

But here’s the deal: getting to know people is messy. It’s not always comfortable. There will be missteps because you’re learning to dance. Relationship building takes time, risk, and trust in the process.

One thing I’ve noticed in the cultural milieu lately is this idea that self-care is staying home alone in our pajamas. That the energy it requires to make new friends simply isn’t worth it. That it’s better and safer to label people with specific jobs, political beliefs, orientations, or interests as “not my people,” rather than actually getting to know them as the nuanced, complex, and whole humans they are (just like you).

YES, sometimes we need to stay home in our pajamas.

But what I worry is actually happening is that we’re forgetting that we need each other. We’re designed to live in close proximity and connection with other humans, we’ve just forgotten for a little while. So, as we re-learn how to be together, physically, emotionally, mentally, and all the ways, it might feel awkward.

We might stumble and step on each other’s toes. We might accidentally impose. But what a delight it is to need and be needed. What a gift to experience the intimacy of being human with other humans. There’s truly nothing like it.

So, let’s practice together, starting with this month’s resource exchange!

Heartbeats Resource Exchange 💞

Welcome to our monthly “Connect, Create, Collaborate” thread, an experiment in building a new connection economy.

Our goal is to practice tangible ways to generously share what we have and bravely receive what we need. Realizing this goes beyond a 1:1 exchange, we’re creating a web of reciprocity and care that ripples out far and wide.

How It Works:

1. In the comments on THIS POST

   • Share your city in ALL CAPS

   • Under "RESOURCES OFFERED" list up to 3 free resources you'd like to share (examples: tarot reading, editing services, homemade meal, etc.)

   • Under "RESOURCES NEEDED" list 1-3 items you'd like to receive from the community (examples: a writing critique partner, 2 hours of childcare per month, an old typewriter, painting lessons, etc.).

2. Connect with others by responding directly to offers/requests that interest you

3. If you can’t directly respond to a request, but know someone who can, invite them to participate!

4. Check back periodically for new connections

5. This thread will remain active through August 30th, with a new thread starting September 1st.

More ways to practice being in communion 💗

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🦋Guest-host September’s Connect, Create, Collaborate exchange!

I'm looking for someone passionate about community building to help lead September’s resource exchange. This is a beautiful opportunity to cross-pollinate our communities and share your unique perspective!

What you’ll do:

• Write a short introduction for September’s letter (I'll help with the template!)

• Share why collaboration matters to you or how resource sharing has impacted your life

• Help spread the word by sharing the post and comments on Notes to get more engagement

Interested? Email thebarefootbeat@gmail.com by August 15th!

🌿Harmonize with the cycles and seasons of nature

Connect with your own internal rhythms with the summer edition of “Rhythms and Rituals,” a beautiful journal with gentle prompts, energy overviews, affirmations, and embodied rituals to help you deepen your presence and honor your wholeness.

NOW AVAILABLE for as little as $7.00! This is a timeless journal you can use to accompany you through Leo and Virgo season, beautifully illustrated with whimsical watercolors by my friend Jordan EuDaley.

I’m delighted to be in your presence again and can’t wait to see what wondrous exchanges and beautiful connections happen this month. Thank you for being here.

All my love,
Mariah

1. This is cited from the study appropriately called, “Life Sustaining Irritations? Relationship Quality and Mortality in the Context of Chronic Illness,” quoted from this article on Scientific American.