What story are you telling yourself?
When I say it out loud, when I give voice and space to the default stories my mind likes to repeat, I can stop and ask, “Is that actually true?”
The story I’ve been telling myself is…
I have to wait for everyone else to be okay before I can fall apart.
I’m the glue holding this together.
I’m always the strong one.
I don’t have any help.
When I say it out loud, when I give voice and space to the default stories my mind likes to repeat, I can stop and ask, “Is that actually true?”
It’s been an admittedly hard week. Caring for a newborn as newlyweds is tough. We are both feeling the interminableness of winter, the absence of close family nearby, and the cumulative fatigue of interrupted sleep.
When things are difficult, these beliefs often seem the loudest, turning up the volume on perceived isolation, lack of resources, or scarcity. What I realized is that not only are these stories untrue, they’re keeping me from receiving the nourishing, abundant connection I crave.
So, I did something hard for me to do. I asked for help. I reached out to a handful of friends and asked for extra support. And you know what? People responded. And I felt relief. And seen. And less alone.
The housework didn’t magically all get done. Our to-do list is still long. We’re still experiencing exhaustion.
But you know what? As a recovering “fixer,” I’m beginning to realize some things aren’t broken, they’re just hard. When we can gather around each other as witnesses to the challenges of life, it doesn’t necessarily fix anything but it does build resilience, trust, and connection.
When I ask for help, I hope you feel more comfortable asking me for help, too. Exposing our vulnerabilities to each other, we gain collective strength. We call each other in, instead of pushing away, holding each other at arm's length.
Loved one.
Is there a story you’re telling yourself you might greet with a sense of curiosity? Can you ask, with compassion, “Is this story true?” If so, where’s the proof?
Might there also be proof it’s not true?
I wonder, what story would you like to tell instead?
The new story I’m telling myself is:
We are loved, we are whole, we are enough.
Let’s practice believing it, together.
I tell myself the story that I am alone, and we were never meant to do this life thing alone. I tell myself that I don’t know who to ask for help or even how to ask. I tell myself that everyone is too busy for me and it’s too hard to manage schedules.
Sometimes these things can be true.
And...
Sometimes I allow them to be true by letting myself sit in the narrative without questioning it.
And...
I’m just learning how to balance limiting beliefs without turning it into toxic positivity.
I appreciate this reminder 😊