What does your soul long to experience?
I wince when I think about how I’ve let my life be ruled by tasks, embodying exhaustion as a symbol that I am doing enough, I am enough.
In a few days, our home will be filled to the brim with seven adults, one baby and three dogs, for eight days. The part of me that loves hospitality is thrilled. The side of me that needs to be in control is feeling anxious about the inevitable chaos.
As the holidays approach, my to-do list lengthens. There are rooms to clean, towels to fold, extra pillows to buy, and gifts to wrap. It can feel overwhelming.
I’m not a newcomer to organizing and list-making. I have a collection of planners from my college days full of homework assignments, grocery lists and books to read. Some weeks were calculated and scheduled down to the hour.
I wince when I think about how I’ve let my life be ruled by tasks, embodying exhaustion as a symbol that I am doing enough, I am enough.
"Life is not a problem to be solved but an experience to be had." -Alan Watts
I like this quote so much I’ve added it to my email signature, a daily reminder for me to focus on what I want to experience. Trying to control every aspect of our holiday gathering might temporarily satiate my anxiety but I know where that road leads in the long run. Stress. Burn out. Resentment. Irritability.
What my soul really longs for is delight. Warmth. Connection. Joy. Wonder.
One way I’m reframing my perspective is to replace the word control with collaborate. Collaboration is an invitation for others to join in the fun, adding their own personality and creativity to the mix. This shift in vocabulary takes me off the hook for being responsible for everyone. It acknowledges that we each bring our own intention and energy to the gathering.
It places the focus back on what I can control, which is my experience. When I’m seated in my authentic power, taking responsibility for my emotions, a synergy emerges, just like a group of people gathered for the purpose of listening to music or a story. Our hearts literally start to synchronize.
Things flow. Tasks get done with ease. There’s harmony.
In spite of our best efforts, we may not be able to control everything in life. I’d argue, that’s really for the best. Since I’m new at the art of letting go, I will be asking for help. The catchphrase, “flock of birds,” will serve as a gentle reminder to myself to embody a spirit of collaboration when I start to feel anxious or overwhelmed this holiday season. I plan on sharing this phrase with my husband so he can partner with me in holding myself accountable.
What does your soul long to experience this week?
Where can you release control and ease into a posture of peace? How might you collaborate with Spirit?
Is there an artist or someone you look up to you’d like to work with? Do you have an example of when you’ve tried collaborating instead of controlling? Leave a comment below!
Holiday Blessing
In the spirit of generosity, I wanted to share these lyrics with you from “Snow” by Sleeping at Last (one of my favorite musicians). May you experience what your soul longs for this week.
So we sing carols softly, as sweet as we know
A prayer that our burdens will lift as we go
Like young love still waiting under mistletoe
We'll welcome December with tireless hope
Let our bells keep on ringing
Making angels in the snow
May the melody disarm us
When the cracks begin to show
Like the petals in our pockets
May we remember who we are
Unconditionally cared for
By those who share our broken hearts
The table is set and our glasses are full
Though pieces go missing, may we still feel whole
We'll build new traditions in place of the old
'Cause life without revision will silence our souls
May the melody surround us
When the cracks begin to show
Like the petals in our pockets
May we remember who we are
Unconditionally cared for
By those who share our broken hearts
As gentle as feathers, the snow piles high
Our world gets rewritten and retraced every time
P.S. I’ll be taking next week off to be present with family but don’t worry! You’ll still get a letter from me on Christmas morning. As a special thank-you, I’ll be unlocking a “founder’s only” post for everyone to enjoy.
*If you’d like to upgrade to a paid membership, I’m still offering free, 30-minute tarot readings through the end of December! All new paid subscribers will receive a special tarot session with me.
*Last but not least, I’m planning some exciting things for Heartbeats next year! I’d love your feedback as we grow this community together. Please take a short reader survey here.
Thanks to each and every one of you for being here. I’ll see you in 2023!
