September: Connect, Create, Collaborate

Our monthly resource exchange + outtakes from the ups and downs of building community IRL.

"The connection economy is the economy of prosperity, collaboration and infinite possibilities. It's the vision of an economic ecosystem, a complex network of interconnected systems built on trust, value alignment and reciprocity. -Forbes

Hello!

Welcome to our monthly “Connect, Create, Collaborate” thread, an experiment in building a new connection economy. Every month, people from all over the world connect in meaningful, heartfelt ways, weaving together a safety net of love in uncertain times.

One piece at a time, we can dare to create joy, beauty, and whimsy from the pot-holes of our lives.

This month, I'm thrilled to co-host with Amanda Aaron 🇨🇦, a mother and writer from our Heartbeats community who's been wrestling with the real challenges of building connections in her neighborhood. Her candid reflections below show why this process is worth the effort - even when it's complicated.

(If you’d like to jump straight into our resource exchange, scroll to the bottom of this letter!)

What I appreciate about Amanda’s honesty is the truth that creating community is not a linear process. There are ups and downs, awkward encounters, and even harmful ones that require repair, boundaries, or reevaluation.

After reading her story, I’d love to hear your experiences, too! What’s been challenging about building community? What’s been rewarding or uplifting? What makes it worth the effort to keep trying? Leave a comment in this week’s Heartbeats’ Community Check-in to continue the conversation!

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Hello! I feel so special to share this space with all of you.

I am a mother, writer, and full-time employee with an engineering firm as a Business Operations Coordinator. My husband is a full-time dad who will be homeschooling our 5-year-old son. We live in Port Moody, BC, Canada, in the sacred boreal rainforest of the Pacific Northwest.

Community has been a constant effort for me and has not felt natural or easy.

When I was pregnant in 2019, the very first thing that came into my head was, where are my witches? I tried to find a doula or midwife who knew plants as medicine and would guide me through the birthing portal, holding space for my spirit as well as my body.

When my son was an infant, I was constantly wondering, if it takes a village to raise a kid, where is the village?

My son is almost five and a half now, and this whole time I've been wrestling with what community means to me, reimagining church, and also trying to understand what time I need to be alone to recharge.

I often feel overwhelmed in large groups and exhausted by small talk. When I acknowledge the balance of what I need, it becomes a reciprocal relationship. Community as a whole and its individuals benefit from embracing the flow of both rest and activity. Nothing in nature is “on” all the time.

If you think about a small town community, you have folks of all different backgrounds, ages, and opinions. Community is healthier with diversity. We’re not supposed to get along all the time, or parent the same way, or have the same political beliefs (that’s what best friends are for). We are supposed to support each other, regardless of our differences. After all, we’re all human. We’re in this together.

Lately, I've been looking to the neighbors who live around me, instead of expecting my friends to fulfill my needs for community. When I am open, I am filled up by the people around me. And yet, sometimes, it’s still hard.

Here’s a snapshot of some recent ups and downs on my journey to creating community.

Wednesday, July 30: My son and I went up the hill to a spot where there's a bunch of kids in one townhouse complex building. They had just finished up a party. I was offered sangria, and as I sat and sipped and chatted, my son went off and played with the kids. I didn't have to worry or keep him in sight. They also had a great big bag of chips on the table after the party. Every few minutes, my son would come and grab a handful of chips and run off again with the kids—community at its finest.

Friday, August 8: My son was using a neighbour's kid's bike, learning to pedal and ride while two older neighbour girls cheered him on and rode beside him. It was so cool to see! He got a high five and a fist bump after. How lucky am I as a mother to live in a neighbourhood where my kid can be encouraged by other kids to thrive? I am grateful.

Saturday, August 9: We went up the hill to play with the neighbours' kids as we usually do. The little guy was having his 2-year-old birthday party. Jill, the mom, was so gracious to let my son participate. He had a cupcake and got to hit the piñata and took home candy, tattoos, and a sticker - all very cool. And here I am at the end of the night, trying not to let it get to me that we weren’t originally invited or that I would rather play with the kids than hang out with the adults.

Sunday, August 10: We follow the sound of kids' voices to a splash bouncy castle! The mom, Rebecca, greets us and says that her daughter was asking to play with my son all day! They were having a visit with other friends and included us right away. I played a bit with the kids, I sat a bit with the adults, and enjoyed their company and participated in conversation. It was such a different feeling from the birthday party the day before!

When it was time to go home, Rebecca and I exchanged phone numbers (after two years of knowing each other), and I was excited about deepening our connection. On the way home, my son had his first major bike accident. He couldn't brake while striding downhill and ran into a building. I was so thankful for two neighbours who brought the bike home behind me, and Rebecca, who grabbed my water bottle and cell phone.

After my husband and I patched up our son, we went back out to thank the neighbours who helped. Rebecca urged me to go to the hospital, and while I thanked her for her recommendation, I didn’t tell her that we chose not to go to the hospital, because my husband had worked for years as a First Aid Emergency Responder and he had all the skills to care for our son.

Tuesday, August 12: I received a phone call from the authorities because the bike accident was reported as someone’s opinion that we should have gone to the hospital, and that we were not providing adequate care to our child. As a parent on the receiving end of the phone call, that felt so disheartening.

How are we supposed to be building a community or a village if we don’t trust each other to be good parents? And when is it appropriate to alert authorities? Never? And what would it accomplish to go to a hospital? To sit for hours in an emergency room only to be told that we did a great job? When did our autonomy as parents drift into thin air?

Community has been a constant effort for me and has not felt natural or easy. Yet, in community, I am supported, held, seen, and valued. We are human beings. It is in our nature to BE together. Our strength comes in BEING together.

There are two key books that I always refer to: “Motherwhelmed” by Beth Barry and “Belonging” by Toko-pa Turner. Barry’s book taught me to look for moments of “creative and courageous connection” (like calling a good friend out of the blue after losing touch for 5 years). Turner’s book taught me to look for moments where I am rejecting myself (like that birthday party we crashed last Saturday) and moments where I need to pull up my big girl panties and persevere and keep trying (like that phone call from the authorities that makes me want to curl up in a hole and not talk to anyone).

Building community can be so challenging. And it can be so rewarding too.

In your consideration of our resource exchange this month, I encourage you to think about what you could offer and what you need to receive to facilitate our BEING together.

Heartbeats Resource Exchange 💞

Amanda's story shows us that building community requires both vulnerability and resilience. Let's practice both in this month's resource exchange.

Our goal is to practice tangible ways to generously share what we have and bravely receive what we need. Realizing this goes beyond a 1:1 exchange, we’re creating a web of reciprocity and care that ripples out far and wide.

How It Works:

1. In the comments on THIS POST

   • Share your city in ALL CAPS

   • Under "RESOURCES OFFERED" list up to 3 free resources you'd like to share (examples: tarot reading, editing services, homemade meal, etc.)

   • Under "RESOURCES NEEDED" list 1-3 items you'd like to receive from the community (examples: a writing critique partner, 2 hours of childcare per month, an old typewriter, painting lessons, etc.).

2. Connect with others by responding directly to offers/requests that interest you

3. If you can’t directly respond to a request, but know someone who can, invite them to participate!

4. Check back periodically for new connections

5. This thread will remain active through September 30th, with a new thread starting October 1st.

💗More ways to connect

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💖 Amanda’s offering: Collaboration

Are you looking for collaboration or guest authors for your Substack audience? I am super passionate about talking or writing about embodying our feminine nature, our bleed/cycle, slow living, earth-based (pagan) celebrations, homeopathy, Ayurveda, Astrology, Human Design (specific to the Projector type only), prenatal support, postpartum support, Yoga (hatha, yin and kundalini), wild foraging, non-toxic living, motherhood, hand crafts, and all the humanness in between.

Any opportunity to talk about these subjects lights me up!

Let’s collaborate. We can create a Substack live, podcast episode, interview, or co-author a post together. I am flexible to connect through voice memos, emails, or video calls. Let’s be together.

Curious? Email me at amanda.jayne08@gmail.com!

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🌿Harmonize with the cycles and seasons of nature

Are you struggling with the back-to-school transition? (Me, too!)🎒

As we soften into September, entering Virgo season and adjusting our schedules, routines, and expectations, we need soft rituals, reminders, and moments of stillness to remember our connection.

Whether you’re feeling the inner change of seasons, moving from grief to joy and back again, or holding the both/and of life with shaky hands, I made this journal for you.

Rhythms and Rituals is a soft place to land and remember your wholeness. With gentle affirmations, simple rituals, and space to set intentions to honor the liminal spaces.

Now on sale for $7 (originally $15).

Download your journal today and begin this new season with intention and compassion. 🌿

Only available through September 🍂

I’m delighted to be in your presence again and can’t wait to see what wondrous exchanges and beautiful connections happen this month. Thank you for being here.

All my love,
Mariah