First page and cover design reveal! 🦋

On liminal spaces, creative decisions, and the idea of launching “softly”

Hi! If you're new to Heartbeats, welcome. I'm Mariah, and I write about motherhood, creativity, and the messy, beautiful process of becoming. This is part of a new series about my debut novel, The Pattern Shop, where I share detailed excerpts and behind-the-scenes info from my self-publishing journey! 📝

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Hello.

As we near the Equinox, that fleeting meeting point between dark and light, I’m drawn to the power (and sometimes disorientation) of liminal spaces.

The “neither here, nor there,” transitions where we are somewhere in between.

How does this relate to The Pattern Shop, you ask?

When twenty-one-year-old Eleanorah travels to the place of the Monarch migration in Mexico, she experiences an aliveness and awakening that threatens her carefully calculated plans to avoid her past and finish nursing school in Chicago.

This leads me to the first page reveal!!

So, this is the place where men become gods. Eleanorah stood on the edge of the uneven platform and shielded her gaze, looking down the steep steps of the Pyramid of the Sun. Her hazel eyes flashed toward the horizon, a spark of rebellion igniting. She wasn't supposed to be here, but here she was. The sweat on her face evaporated, leaving salty tributaries running down her cheeks. It was the first day of spring— just a few months away from her twenty-first birthday but it already felt like mid-July.

A soft breeze blew a piece of crimson hair free from its plaited position on her forehead. In a forest not far, oyamel trees waited for orange and black wings to land among outstretched limbs. Despite the heat, her arms prickled with goosebumps.

When an opportunity presented itself to study in Morelia, the location of the Monarch migration her grandfather told her about all those years ago, an excitement she couldn’t explain bubbled to the surface. She was on track to finish nursing school in Chicago, but lately found herself staring through the drawn blinds in the classroom at the loud, bustling city—unable to focus on learning the chemical compounds and sterile, individual parts that were supposed to make a life.

A drumbeat from somewhere in the distance throbbed in her temples, making her dizzy. Its melody swarmed into her consciousness, throwing back the curtains and opening the dusty windows of her heart, unveiling a plethora of color and iridescent prisms; a fragile hope, dancing in the light. She shook her head, certain she was imagining things.

Re-visiting the pyramids at Teotihuacán in 2013.

Experiencing her first taste of a life beyond the confines of her control, Eleanorah begins imagining another possibility while also discovering what she might just have to leave behind.

There was a cost to freedom, one she wasn’t sure she was ready to pay. She’d cautiously retreated from her own dreams, choosing instead what she thought she could control, studying life instead of living it with both feet on the muddy ground— shouting, running, muscles aching, alive. Freedom or restraint? Either way she chose, there was a leave-taking.

She rested her head back on Andrés’ sturdy shoulder, wondering if he felt like her, looking from the outside in. He returned the gesture. A heaviness between them that wasn’t there before started to grow.

The revolution had begun.

Palenque in Chiapas, Mexico 2007

But personal revolutions take time. Against her better judgment, Eleanorah returns home to an ill-timed family road trip that only makes her feel more out of place.

“Missed ya, sis!” Micah, her middle brother, ruffled her hair affectionately before climbing into the backseat.

“Missed you too,” she glanced back before folding her pillow against the window. She wished her brothers would ask about her time in Mexico or take their headphones off long enough to notice she was not okay.

“Take me home, country roads to the place I beloooong!” Her parents crooned along with John Denver too loudly in the front, speeding through the prairie on a reverse pilgrimage to the mountains. Eleanorah watched as sunflowers strained their necks toward the noonday sun. The paved roads covered wagon ruts and westward trails littered with dreams and possibilities. The worn highways were as familiar as the lines across their palms; a thrown rope connected to a liferaft when they were almost always drowning.

Westbound, 2007

And then back to an empty campus, where she must pick up her nursing courses, despite her heart remaining elsewhere.

The hum of machinery outside the library window was drowned out by the sound of her heart, beating out of time. The compass spun. The hourglass flipped. The sands of Lake Michigan did not contain the ocean, did not smell of voyages or rebels. Did not howl with the cries of La Llorona.

But Eleanorah still heard them.

The haunting landscape of Chiapas, MX 2007

🎶I’ve also made a playlist to go with each chapter of the book, based on the places and the music I actually listened to when these stories took place. The first playlist is called “La Soledad” (which means loneliness, or isolation in Spanish).

Pair these excerpts with “This is the First Day of my Life,” by Bright Eyes, “Limon y Sal” by Julieta Venegas, and “Where’d you go,” by Fort Minor for an immersive experience.

Have you ever left home, only to return and realize it’s not home anymore? What liminal space are you experiencing? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Self-publishing updates

I’m very much feeling in that liminal space where progress is being made, but there’s still so much more to do! One of the beautiful gifts of choosing self-publishing is that there is no external urgency for completing this project. I can stay true to my intention of “sacred collaboration” and make progress in ways that are in alignment with my nervous system needs, caregiving, and my enthusiasm/joy.

So when will it be published, you ask?

My hope is that I’ll have copies available for a “soft” launch in early December (around the full moon in Gemini would be a lovely synchronicity)! This would give me time to gift copies to friends and families, allow you to purchase copies for the holiday season (or yourself!) and help me keep my intention for taking the majority of December off to be present with friends and family.

Starting in January/early Spring, I’m planning on a more concentrated marketing/PR push with a few BIG ideas for celebrating this book baby and sharing it with you. That being said, I’ll keep sharing updates along the way!

Here’s a peek behind the scenes this week:

1. I chose a cover design! Thank you to everyone who voted on their favorite image. Even though the majority of you loved the design with the blueprints (me, too!) I decided to go with the simpler, zoomed-in image of the butterfly wing.

   

   It was a tough call to make but ultimately, the one with the blueprints just seemed “off” to me, even with multiple changes in font sizing and placement. It was almost like too much happening on the page at once? This one makes me sigh a little with relief. It’s elegant and minimal in the best way.

   I also took into consideration genre expectations. Since The Pattern Shop is literary fiction, the style of the second design more accurately represents this kind of book and I felt would be more familiar to readers who love literary fiction (which I hope is you!). I also chose a size for the paperback (5.25" x 8") and hardback (6" x 9").

   Once I get the total page count (after completing line edits and the interior design), and write my bio and back jacket copy, Peter will design the spine and back of the book for printing!

Total cover design cost so far: $825

2. I purchased a pack of 10 ISBN’s, three of which I’ll use for the different formats I’m planning on for The Pattern Shop– e-book, paperback, and hardback. Each format needs its own ISBN and then I’ll have seven remaining for future projects!

Total cost: $295

3. I had my first podcast interview about The Pattern Shop with the lovely Emma Campbell! We’ve both interviewed each other several times, and it was so lovely to be in her presence to share more about Eleanorah’s story and how much it mirrors my own. Look for a link to the episode soon!

   If you’d like to interview me about self-publishing or The Pattern Shop, I’d love to be a guest on your podcast or newsletter! Send me a message or email thebarefootbeat@gmail.com

Next steps:

1. I’m still working on revisions with my editor, Eva. We’re about ⅓ of the way through on developmental edits before moving to the copy-editing portion. Our goal is to wrap up edits by the end of October!

Total cost for editing: $1650

2. Attorney consultation–I have a few quotes and song lyrics scattered throughout the book I’ve been advised to consult with a copyright lawyer about for permissions and possible licensing. I’ve started cataloging where these occur in the book and hope to get some solid advice before we finalize the manuscript.

Total cost estimated: $300-400

3. Set up IngramSpark account and get pricing for local short run. This will help me price the book accurately and allow me to finish setting up the ISBN’s I purchased through Bowker.

What else would you like to know about this process or the book? I’d love to hear your feedback, questions, and pro tips, if you have any! Leave a comment below or join us in the Weekly Heartbeats’ Writers Chat!

Thanks for being here and sharing your presence, it means so much.

All my love,
Mariah