Cultivating meaningful work: Letting go of self-doubt and "supposed to"
Week 3 of The Gifts of Imperfection Mini-Series
“Those three things - autonomy, complexity and a connection between effort and reward - are, most people agree, the three qualities that work has to have if it is to be satisfying. It is not how much money we make that ultimately makes us happy between nine and five. It's whether our work fulfills us.”
― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success
This week, I turned down an opportunity for a paid writing job. One I had reached out and asked for. A job I’d done before with delight, yet was starting to dread.
Welcome to the 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living mini-series from The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. Each letter covers one guidepost with personal reflections and resources for you to integrate at your own pace. Jump in any week and invite a friend to join us!
Each guidepost on our journey brings real-life chances to live the lessons. Whether we want to, or not. Since beginning this mini-series I have a lot more clarity. Which means it’s harder to ignore choices that are not coming from a place of whole-heartedness.
How is your journey so far? What have you discovered on your path?
Have you noticed we’re not following the guideposts in order but meandering through them, starting with cultivating rest and play (#7), then a resilient spirit (#3), and now exploring meaningful work (#9)? This is intentional and intuitive. For me, remembering my wholeness is deeply connected with listening to my inner guidance and trusting my intuition.
Interestingly, faith is an important aspect of letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to.”
“Most of us who are searching for spiritual connection spend too much time looking up at the sky and wondering why God lives so far away. God lives within us, not above us. Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful source of connection with God.”
-Brené Brown
In her research, Brené discovered that recognizing our gifts and talents and sharing them with the world brought a sense of purpose. In fact, if we’re not sharing our unique abilities with the world, it can actually cause distress and feelings of emptiness, disconnection, even grief.
This is confirmed by Caroline Myss’ work on the power of archetypes in our lives, a book I’ve been reading alongside The Gifts of Imperfection. Caroline states, “You can pretend to be something other than who you are but eventually you will run out of energy to continue because that’s not authentically you.”
Identifying and embodying our personal archetypes is the most empowering tool we have to live in alignment with our soul’s DNA. When we believe in ourselves and have faith in our inherent gifts and talents, we harness the creative power of the Universe itself.
Next month, I’ll be teaching you how to identify your personal archetypes (based on Caroline Myss’ work) and how to use this with your birth chart to see your life’s purpose more clearly. I’m offering 15% off this workshop for all Heartbeats members.
Service to others in alignment with our authenticity produces a sort of spiritual high, providing us with the energy and resources to make a long-term impact.
So, what stands in the way of us honoring our unique contribution to the world?
Goblins and Gremlins
I remember the first time someone laughed at a picture I drew. My less-than-perfect rendition of a bear looked like it had six legs instead of four. The proportions were all wrong. At that moment, with that one criticism, I decided I couldn’t draw. While I envied a classmate who was constantly sketching in class, I convinced myself I simply didn’t have the creative gene.
Do you remember the first time someone criticized an authentic desire or dream of yours? What impact did it have on your self-belief? Did it strengthen your resolve to create or leave you with a feeling of ongoing shame and tension?
How often have you ignored your intuition and chosen the more practical path, telling yourself it has to be “all or nothing?” I’m definitely guilty of this! There are so many ways we can talk ourselves out of cultivating our gifts and sharing them with the world. Most of us are conditioned from a young age by others’ expectations for what we should study, where we should live, who we should marry, and how we should spend our time.
With all of the constant noise and stimulation, fear erodes our faith and our spiritual connection suffers. We need stillness to rediscover our inner compass. Taking the time to filter out the static and write down what you’re afraid of will shed light on what’s yours and what isn’t.
“Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we’re enough and letting go of what the world says we’re supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves.”
-Brené Brown
I haven’t heard back from the email I sent, politely un-committing to the paid writing job. I don’t have something to take its place, yet. There’s less certainty but I can feel my confidence starting to grow. I’m stepping out in faith and self-belief that if I keep listening to my inner guidance, the path will unfold.
Sometimes our no’s can be as powerful as our yesses. They send signals into the void and draw boundaries around our hearts. Like handwritten notes or prayers whispered on our knees, each time we choose what brings our soul alive, we send invitations into the Universe to answer our call.
Make it real.
How can you discover your gifts and talents and build the confidence you need to engage in meaningful work?
For me, I’m going to seek the company of other creatives. Whether through Substack, listening to podcasts, or seeking opportunities like Creative Mornings in my community, being around like-minded and hearted folks gives me energy and restores my enthusiasm for charting my own path.
I’m also going to interact more intentionally with my to-do list. I’ve already committed to focusing on the feelings or emotions I want to embody throughout the day and writing them down at the top of my list (today it’s health, home-making, and sunshine).
I want to add doing an energetic check-in before starting a task. Does it feel in alignment with my capacity? Is it going against the flow or with it? Where does my attention naturally go? What am I motivated to do right now?
Journal Prompts
What gifts or talents did people notice in you during childhood? Are any of those still present now?
When was the last time you had a conversation with your inner gremlins and really listened? Sometimes what we avoid or repress becomes louder. Try writing down some of your self-doubts or limiting beliefs and then gently soothe them.
What brings you meaning or purpose? Is there some small way you can engage in this activity daily or at least weekly?
Resources
Brené Brown talks about this week’s guidepost with her sisters 👇
If you haven’t already, take the free Wholehearted Inventory
I just discovered this podcast series on meaningful work. There are so many great topics covered, here’s an episode to start with.
Listen to our special playlist for our book club and add your favorite songs!
I hope you enjoyed this week’s guidepost. Next week we’ll be exploring how to cultivate intuition and faith while letting go of the need for certainty.
Until then, all my love,
Mariah
Want additional support and encouragement on your wholehearted journey? Book a one-on-one tarot reading with me to bring compassion and clarity to any situation.
What a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing. Did you study positive psychology at all?
Thanks, I enjoyed this & your wonderful quotes. I learn so much from Brene & Caroline they are both incredible, glad you think so too.