My husband recently went on a solo camping trip & while he was gone, I realized how much of external expectations I've internalized. While he was away I felt like I could rest and let go. I decided to investigate that feeling and I realized that he wasn't putting those expectations on me, I was. I have been running myself into the ground, saying no to help, and meeting expectations that are all in my own head - then I'm angry at everyone else because they rest and I don't. Letting go of it is hard after 30 us years of internalizing it but I'm doing my best. Here's to becoming more maladjusted!
Yes! I’ve felt similarly when my husband is traveling which is weird because he’s really helpful and hands-on, but maybe it’s that releasing of expectations and giving myself permission to do less since there’s only one of us. Interesting to think about!
Wow, I love this. "Consistency is less the goal than an ability to keep coming back, no matter how long an absence." I haven't been able to create a lot the past few months due to being pretty sick (thanks, morning sickness!) and it has been really weird to feel like I'm losing my consistency. But I do know I'll be back to creating as I feel better. <3
Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth! I'm sorry you're having morning sickness. I have another friend who's had a really physically difficult pregnancy and I know it can feel so unsettling/isolating. Reminding ourselves that these fluctuations are normal and necessary helps us save the energy we need to eventually come back!
Really wonderful and insightful Thank you Mariah
Thanks for reading, Deb! 💗
My husband recently went on a solo camping trip & while he was gone, I realized how much of external expectations I've internalized. While he was away I felt like I could rest and let go. I decided to investigate that feeling and I realized that he wasn't putting those expectations on me, I was. I have been running myself into the ground, saying no to help, and meeting expectations that are all in my own head - then I'm angry at everyone else because they rest and I don't. Letting go of it is hard after 30 us years of internalizing it but I'm doing my best. Here's to becoming more maladjusted!
Yes! I’ve felt similarly when my husband is traveling which is weird because he’s really helpful and hands-on, but maybe it’s that releasing of expectations and giving myself permission to do less since there’s only one of us. Interesting to think about!
Wow, I love this. "Consistency is less the goal than an ability to keep coming back, no matter how long an absence." I haven't been able to create a lot the past few months due to being pretty sick (thanks, morning sickness!) and it has been really weird to feel like I'm losing my consistency. But I do know I'll be back to creating as I feel better. <3
Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth! I'm sorry you're having morning sickness. I have another friend who's had a really physically difficult pregnancy and I know it can feel so unsettling/isolating. Reminding ourselves that these fluctuations are normal and necessary helps us save the energy we need to eventually come back!